THE GUARDIAN (a Memorial Poem)

THE GUARDIAN

As I sit here thinking of you, I think of all you've missed. 

 How one moment you were here, then suddenly added to God's list. 

How times have changed, how people have grown,
how life didn't stop, just kept moving on. 

Thirteen years of birthday parties, weddings, funerals and the Derbys. 

The birth of four more girls, but now as your grand babies. 

All the memories you couldn't attend 

The lives you couldn't touch because of your end. 

The days that were sad when you were not there.

They seem to get easier for us to bare. 

I think of the times I wish to take back or relive again 

 When I took them for granted thinking your company would have no end. 

Every May sneaks up on me, I don't keep track of the date. 

Hoping I just forget the dreaded day of your destined fate. 

 But each year it still comes and goes so quickly 

That before I know it, it's here again, still making me feel sickly. 

 Taking me back to the day when I saw your burned hand 

Hoping and pleading the nightmare would end. 

Praying and believing God would take your pain 

I stared out the window, hoping strength you'd gain. 

Not realizing He would answer our prayers 

He took your hands and lead you upstairs. 

Away from the hurt, the worry the sadness 

Now to look upon us, with a new found gladness. 

 The part that still hurts is knowing my girls 

 Got jipped of their chance to know the man with the curls. 

But on that day when my babies almost drowned 

I screamed for help and no one was around. 

Except for their angel who lifted me from my feet 

To into the water, pulling them from their baby seats. 

Breaths of life and tears of such fear 

The water coming out and me holding them near. 

On the ride home from the hospital I remembered the date. 

Oh, it was YOU that helped save their fate! 

That was your purpose to hold tight their hands, 

So they were not taken too soon to His land. 

Though you are not with us in body or sound, 

Your spirit still lives with us, always around. 

Still seeing the births, the parties, the holidays. 

Alive in our stories, recipes and things you'd say. 

 In the questions they ask about their Grandpa Tommy 

Even though they see it hurts their mommy. 

You stay alive through our little kids 

And when we see you in their curly lids. 

Your spirit and memory may fade with times 

But the lives you have touched and leaving your dimes 

We'll never forget that feeling you left 

Remaining so strong until your last breath. 

So though I am sad to have missed you grow old, 

What would have happened if you didn't go? 

Your grand babies are here and doing very well 

Its thanks to you Dad that we still have our Lina and Belle! 

So just keep watching over and holding us tight. 

 And keep coming to us in our dreams at night. 

 Keep taking Lina to the beach to collect shells 

And give long warm hugs to our Meia and Belle. 

Then invite Kaylee to your mechanical glass home 

with the lights on the fence and the bear rug in your throne. 

Oh and then make plans for another bundle of joy 

You finally get to experience having a boy! 

As we see sun rays and rainbows and catch falling dimes. 

It makes us remember all of the times 

Of when you were here and now where you are 

We always know you are never very far. 

 Though you're not with us and they'll never meet 

In our dreams and our hearts you will always be. 

"DADDY, PLEASE GUIDE US THROUGH LIFE. 

WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW." 

Dedicated to Tommy LaMaster 9/6/55 - 5/28/02

Written by Michelle Ferrigno 5/28/15